I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
