Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
