Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
