Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
