toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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