Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have feelings that need drinking.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
