did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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