I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
