He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
