"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
