You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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