please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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