I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
