**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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