Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
