planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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