Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
