I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
