Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
