Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
