Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
