I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
