if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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