Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
