Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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