just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
