would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
