Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
