Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
