No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
