i jhust puked up my retainher.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
