By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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