I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
