Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
