Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
