This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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