We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
