you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
