i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
