Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
