he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
