It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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