That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
