i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
