Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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