He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
