I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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