so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
