dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
