spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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