My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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