Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Still dying that you shit outside
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
